Ocean Wise-Owl Chapter two

Flynn watched me munch on my cereal, it was defiantly off putting having him stand there staring at me. I had been here nearly a week but Flynn hasn't kicked me out yet and I wasn't ready to move on, the least I could do was pay my way. So I brought some new suits and decided to get myself to work.

"Are you sure your should go to work?"

"I live for my job Flynn, I'll be fine"

"honey how are you"

I was pulled into a hug as soon as I stepped into my office, I hugged my assistant back. Mel was not only my assistant but also my most trusted and best friend, I thought she would be angry that had not phoned or gone to her after the wedding day. But she seemed to understand what ever I did was to help myself.

I stepped into work almost naturally, my job was my life and it was a much welcomed distraction. Three meetings and staff meeting with my work force had made me feel like I had never left, I was in my comfort zone of the world of business. Mel had the coffee ready at the right time as if by magic and she didn't push for any details about my personal life.

Working on a report isn't many people's idea of fun, I usually enjoyed tapping the laptop keys and the satisfaction of finishing it but I had to admit that this report was draining me. I thought about if I wasn't at work what would I be doing, even though I was staying at Flynn's in truth I hadn't been at his flat that much. I went out as much as possible, seeing family, doing courses, social lunches with clients and doing yoga. What can I say I got it of my mum! 

"Ocean there is someone wanting to speak to you"

"Send them in then Mel"

"...I don't think it's such a good idea-"

"Mel, send. Them. In"

She mumbled something and then ushered the visitor in to my office, I typed in the last sentence and closed my laptop.

My jaw dropped as I saw who it was, it was like I had been kicked in the stomach.

"M-M-Michel what are you doing here?"

"Let time I looked are companies were doing business together"

Yeah and last time I looked you ditched me at the alter I snapped in my head, still I was professional so I will grin and bare this meeting.

"So where are our workers, swanning off and leaving work unfinished"

I fumed, mess with me but not my staff! I stomped over to him and shot him daggers,

"Listen her Michel, MY workers our taking lunch which they deserve as the are AHEAD of today's workload and unlike some people they don't leave things!"

"I think you need to leave your personal life at home Ocean, try to be professional please"

I was ready to punch him, how dare he come in here like he owns the place. He comes in my office and insults not only me but my workers, my loyal workers. Thankfully Mel came to my rescue,

"Everything alright Ms Wise-Owl?"

"Yes Mel, could you please show Mr Rich the exit" 

When I saw him leave I crumbled, fighting off tears and the unbearable need to just collapse.

"He's gone, are you ok?"

I couldn't lie to her so shook my head and told her I was going home, well to Flynn's flat, to cancel all my meetings and I would be working at the flat until further notice. She agreed and reminded me she was here if I needed her.

When I got in Flynn was playing his guitar and was so engrossed in his music that he didn't even notice me walk through, great now I was empty and invisible.

"Flynn?"

"yeah, what's up?"

The tears started falling and he dropped his guitar and rushed over to me, he lead me to the couch and I told him what happend. He dried my eyes and comforted me.

He is a nice guy and he knew exactly what to say to make me feel better...or try to feel better.

"Michel is a jerk, if I ever saw him after doing this to you I would, I would...I don't know what I do I'd be so angry. But you, your sweet and pure and you shouldn't let him destroy you babe...promise me you won't let him destroy you"

I gave a weak smile and he seemed to take that as a 'yes I promise', but I couldn't promise him that when I was already destroyed, crumbled and admiting defeat. I was already starting to think that maybe there was noway back from this, I should pack up and move on. But the truth was there was something in this little flat that kept me from leaving.

Ocean Wise-Owl Chapter one

"Ocean? Are you ok?"

I felt like an idiot standing on the pier, my hair becoming loose and falling in my face and the guests gossipping with there hurtful comments. I wanted to run, run as fast as I can but I was rooted to the spot, my feet wouldn't let me leave the place he left me. I watched the waves roll in and out, mum always found the sea calming but they weren't helping me.

"Why Flynn, why did have to do this to me?"

I finally found my voice, it was croaky and quiet hurt was in every sound I made.

"I...I don't know"

I didn't know either, I made him happy didn't I? We laughed, we smiled, we loved one another and yet...

"Do you want to see you parents-"

"No"

I cut off Flynn and carried on staring out bellow at the sea, Flynn made the awkward explanation to my parents, that he only met today, that their only daughter dose not want their comfort. Mum was crying, worried and still trying to be strong, dad would take her home and they would talk about how horrible this day was.

It's my wedding day, well it's meant to be. My groom decided that we shouldn't get married and so he left me, left me here to tell the guests the news and to feel like rubbish. I hate him. I was the most important, youngest, richest berry female or male to be in the business world, I came in the company three years ago and was already the head of my area and was set to be the successor of the company when my boss retired. Now I don't feel like I deserve all of that.

I realised something at it made me sick, I put my hands up in defeat and groaned, Flynn put a hand on my waist in comfort and it was a relief to know I had someone.

"I can't go back to our flat, no way am I going home to my parents and there questions and I have to work with him! Oh Flynn what am I going to do?"

The tears filled my eyes and I let out a sob despite how hard I tried not to.

"You can stay with me"

So we got in a taxi to go to the city and Flynn's flat. Flynn and I are not friends, we only met last month when Michel, the guy who ditched me at the alter, announced this was his best man. They were best friends in university but Michel disapproved of his friends choices, the way he talked about Flynn made me not like him and yet here he is helping me. Michel told me Flynn made bad investments, didn't work and spent all day playing his guitar, I wondered even then if they were really friends.

We reached Flynn's studio in the heart of the city, I sat down and kicked off my shoes. As I looked around the place I noticed just the one bed, I scowled was this his way of trying to get me to sleep with him! He saw my face and gave a small smile,

"I'll sleep on the sofa and I'll give you an shirt to sleep in"

He went to the closet and threw me on of his white shirts and pointed to the bathroom.

The 'old' shirt was actually crisp, new and had never been worn, from Michel's description I would never imagine Flynn to own a shirt like this. I let down my hair and washed my face with the cold water, I had finally stopped wanting to cry but I was still shaking from today's events. Even though there was still two hours until the sun set all I wanted to do was to go to sleep.

Flynn must of also just wanted to sleep as true to his word he was asleep on the sofa when I came out of the bathroom, I didn't know how I would thank him for his kindness. I crawled on to the bed and before I could even get under the covers I was asleep. As I dreamt I had flash backs of the day...

Standing on the pier my smile fading fast as Michel explained that he couldn't go though with the wedding, the guests nervously whispering seeing that something was very wrong with this wedding scene. I always thought stuff like this happened only on TV and in films and yet here I was being told on the day of the wedding that there will be no wedding.

Michel walked calmly past the guests as if he did this everyday, at the time I was just watching him and the floor but in this dream state I remember Flynn. Flynn looked so angry like he could kill Michel if he had the chance, he was muttering something as well he words unclear but his voice was livid. Why didn't I see that before?

When I woke up I sneaked into my parent's house to grab some clothes and my glasses as my contact lenses were at Michel's flat, so for the first time since I was a teenager I wore my glasses. I came back to find Flynn awake and watching TV and I went to sit next to him just as a programme about weddings came on.

"Great, more weddings"

"Sorry I'll change the channel"

"You know I never thought Michel could do something like that, we've been friends for a long time and yeah sometimes he dose things that I find wrong but never in a million years would I guess he would do that. Just you wait until I see him"

I looked at Flynn and gave a small smile,

"Thanks your a good friend"

Earth Wise-Owl Chapter twelve

As always now on a nice sunny day she was resurching and working on her studies. I did worry about her, she no longer wanted to go to skate parks, forests and dance class instead she wanted books, electronic spell checks and travel dictonaries. Her school work was getting marks way behond her class level, in fact she has skipped a year to trying and give her more challenging work.

Still that wasn't good enough for her, she wanted all her qualifications now. She didn't even complain about her glasses anymore, in fact she loved them as they made her more 'smart' according to her. She was more like a worker than a school child.

"Ocean I think we need to have a chat"

"What's up mum?"

I didn't really know how to say this, how can I tell my child to stop doing school work and to stop doing well it's opposite to everything your ment to tell your child.

"Well your doing a lot of unnessasary school work lately"

"Yeah, so?"

I suddenly had a brain wave on how to approach the subject, I would tell her in the same way my mum told me about life lessons. By using the family name. I put my hand under her chin and smiled at her, she looked up at me full of innocence.

"Ocean, a wise old owl once said that you shouldn't let other people tell you want to do you go for your dreams and never let anyone tell you otherwise"

She looked confused, like I did when mum gave me a speak similar to that.

"But I am following my dreams"

Did that confuse me? Yes it did. Then I suddenly understood what she meant, from ever since she was small she put 200% effort into everything. This was just her putting as much effort into school work as she did with everything else, she was happy and so I should be too. So her 16th birthday came and my baby got top marks in her exams and was off to 6th form.

She was a beautiful young women, I hoped I was that pretty and wonderful when I was her age. She started studying what I thought was very hard subjects, taking night classes and out of school qualifications. She took things like maths, business, finance, law, architecture and accounting, some how she stayed on top of everything.

You know I always thought she would be a daddy's girl, I was wrong. Sure she was close to Ego but no more than she was to me, in fact I think she prefers her own company to either of ours. Maybe it's because we are so different, we are all about saving the world and she is more about getting the top scores in everything she wants.

Ego and I were going well, my siblings often ask was I ever insecure that he might leave me as I can no longer have children. The honest answer is no, we have been through so much I never dreamt he would ever leave me due to me not being able to conceive again.

"Listen honey, I had an idea"

"what is that?"

"Why don't we go travelling again, help with charity work in poor countries again"

I looked at my husband while he held my hands, the idea of travelling again hadn't even crossed my mind. Ocean was soon going off to university so it wasn't like I was leaving her, so I agreed of course.

"You know what Ego I love you a lot, you are the best"

"Well you know what Earth I love you way more than you love me"

"I beg to differ" 

So my family is small, just Ego, Ocean and me. My dad died when I was small, my mum re-married and it took me ages before I let my step-dad in to my life. I protested and yet found love and when I lost that love I found it again, sometimes I didn't know what I wanted but everything worked out for the best. Not a bad life Earth Wise-Owl, not a bed life at all.

Earth Wise-Owl Chapter eleven

So I was pregnant, the thing that I had been thinking so hard about- to have a child or not- crept up on us before I even made a decision. Yet we couldn't be happier, yes it meant moving away from my beloved beach. But the local lake helped my missing desires to see water flowing and moving, I'm sure the baby love it to as he or she kicked a lot when I came here.

Ego became a very good farther, he quit his job as a fisherman as he couldn't keep travelling to and from the beach in the early mornings everyday. He got a job at the local garden centre, the owner was even kind enough to offer me a job for when the baby is old enough and I need to go back to work. Although my mum is very content with only helping out at the daycare and mostly being a stay-at-home mum, just like Grandma Cass I would rather work.

Ego had a strange ritual of talking to the baby before we went and after he came home from work, he said it's good for the baby to hear our voice. At first I thought he was going crazy but now even I must admit when I'm on my own I also talk to the large bump, I do not do the strange voice that Ego uses when he talks to the bump.

Even though I was adjusting to life in this new house, the neighbours were something else. They hated and I mean hated the fact we were Berries, it got me so angry we decided we would have to move before I punched them. I thought Berry-haters we long gone and something from the past, I guess not. So were endlessly house-hunting again.

Apart from that my pregnancy was great, ok so sometimes I got really tired and couldn't concentrate on what Ego or anyone else was saying. My family are bursting to tell me their stories of labour and pain during the birth, I want to scream at them 'I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!' honestly I don't want the panic of the endless questions, I'd rather keep calm and not know.

Soon though I found out for myself what labour was like, I wanted a natural birth even though people looked at me like I was crazy. I wanted to prove I was stronger than them and I put of using pain relief for as long as possible...but yes I did give in and ask for every possible drug I could have. 

It was all worth it though, I gave birth to a healthy girl. With my skin and Ego's hair and amazing green eyes, she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. As she is my beloved girl I named her after my beloved ocean, Ocean Wise-Owl sounds nice don't you think?

She soon become the apple of Ego's eye, once I don't think he put her down for a whole day! If she doesn't grow up to be daddy's little girl I'll be surprised, extremely surprised. Call me bias but I think mum and Robbie prefer her to the rest of their grandchildren, even Teal admits she is probably the best looking out of my sibling's offspring.

Sometimes I felt guilty though, Ocean would never have another brother or sister. I had quiet a few...complication in delivery causing me to stay in hospital for long than I thought. To cut things short I can't have children anymore, at first I couldn't believe it. Fertility means a lot to women, I never understood why before now I know. Still life goes on and I have all I need, family, Ego, Ocean and a new house away from those neighbours!

Ocean soon grew up to be a energetic seven year old, she was into everything. Sports, art, music, you name it she wanted to give it a go and she put so much effort into everything, forget about 110% she put in more than 200%!  We soon learnt we would have to leave the back door permanently open as she was always in and out, I hoped it was trait she would have for the rest of her life.

Still there was one thing I had to always nag her about, she would never and I mean never have to be told twice about anything apart from this.

"Ocean, where are your glasses?"

"Mum I hate them, you can't do anything with them!"

"Yes you can you can wear them like your meant to, now go put them on. Now!"

Yes the glasses thing was annoying, no matter how much I told her it was for her own good she refused to wear them. Until one day we had just come back from Parent's Evening and the teachers all told us she was smart and bright the usual destined for great things, it was the first time I had taken her with me. We got home and she put on her glasses and began reading everything in the house.

Now I have to nag her to stop studying and go outside!

Earth Wise-Owl Chapter ten

Looking out the large floor-to-ceiling windows of are beach hut, I never felt so empty. Me searching every inch of my soul to understand what I wanted, if children is what I wanted and if I wanted them now. Ego trying to make me happy but not knowing how, I feel so bad for putting him in limbo.

Trying to wrap his warm arms around me he tells me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him, I know all of that and yet he thinks he has to remind me. I feel like a ghost and that I'm slowly fading as I try to come to a decision, I've been getting worse as the months go on.

Arms wrapped around me trying to protected me from all the bad things that are happening, kissing my hair and neck. I yawned but I knew there was no point going to bed, I can never sleep these days.

"Maybe you should go to the doctors?"

I winced, I hated doctors the smell, the environment and the way everything had to be super clean. I was also petrified of the outcome, a million bad things came to mind.

The next morning of still no sleep I went down to the what are house's front garden is, the beach. I climbed up the rocks and sat down watching the sea roll in and out. Trying to find peace when your a nervous wreck is hard, trying not to think about what's wrong with me and yet not wanting to just brush it under the carpet.

My stomach twisted and turned, I felt light headed and tried to clamber down the rocks. As I made my back to the house I felt dizzy, bile rose and my stomach acid sloshed about like a stormy sea. I went as fast as I could to the the house, as load as I could I shouted for Ego. Tears streamed down my face as the pain exploded around me.

I saw the soft couch and went to lie on it, I felt myself drift into unconsciousness. In my blurry vision I saw a figure run to me, their mouth moving but I couldn't hear anything. I hardly felt the hands grab me by the shoulders and hardly heard the sobs and the worried voice, I only heard on clear thing before I slipped away.

"Honey I love you"

I opened my eyes slowly, I knew where I was straight away. The smell, the atmosphere and the colours told me straight away I was in the hospital, why I was here though was a mystery. I moaned as I tried to move my body, my vision quickly becoming clear as I blinked over and over.

"Ego?"

"Right here"

He looked so old with his worried, tired and sad face, I felt better than I had done in months. I placed my hands on my stomach and I remembered what had happened, I looked at my husband.

"What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know, they were running tests the last time I was informed"

I began panicking.

Then through the closed curtain the doctor appeared, a smile on her face. She shoved some paper in my file and then nodded to herself.

"It's good to see you awake Mrs Wise-Owl"

"What's wrong with me?"

"I have your tests results here"

I got up and jumped to her side, I wanted to know first without Ego knowing. If not to protect him then to let me deal with and accept it first. My face must of shown my concern and worry, I felt tears prick in my eyes but I tried to stay strong. The doctor saw my face and softened,

"No, no Mrs Wise-Owl there is nothing to worry about. In fact you should be happy...Your three months and two weeks pregnant!"

After the shock we waited in the waiting room of the hospital, as the doctors booked me for my scan. Ego sat still not saying a word, was he mad? I tried to spark up conversation, talking to myself about anything and everything. He just grunted and nodded, did he not want a child? I shut up and shank into the chair, feeling very upset.

Then he cleared his throat and turned to me, I gave a smile hopefully.

"Earth I've decided were moving and don't try and argue. Yes the beach hut is amazing and I love it as much as you, but there is no way you can raise a family there. So I've decided, as your husband, that we are moving".

I found no argument and didn't want to argue, no matter how much I disagreed I gave in. I gave in because I knew he was doing what he thought was best, I also had to be proud he is putting so much effort.

So I tearfully packed up are stuff, sold my lovely beach hut to some students and we brought a house closer to the town. A house with no sea breeze and no beach as the garden, but I decided to look at this as a new beginning. Ego, bump and I.