My life was a mess, my best friend the father of my baby was dead. I can't eat and what I do eat just came back up and I cry and cry. Pi had fallen while climbing up some ladders and now he was gone.
At first I though it would be alright. Venus will grow up knowing about Pi as I will never forget him and will love her so much. I turned all my grief into love and affection for Venus.
Mars would be a great father figure to her I know and he did a great job of looking after her when I went to China to help Aqua. Poor thing, we never got on but the death of Pi has really brought us together we now know that we were both and equally important to him.
When I came back from my trip I threw my self into getting some bar work and learning to mix and create the drinks the bar wanted me to make. But, I soon realised that the grief soon caught up with me...
I'm now sobbing all the time, being sick from crying too much and not eating properly. Sometimes Mars would have to watch me to make sure I ate, I just couldn't get over losing Pi.
Then I found out I was pregnant. Mars was over the moon and I was happy too...for I while. But it didn't take long for me to get depressed and grief stricken over Pi again.
So now I have ruined my marriage. Mars told me to sit down he looks angry and upset and I know it's over. Why Pi why did you go?
"Cass I love you but you aren't looking after yourself or the baby...I think you need some help, losing Pi must of been really hard on you. Talk to someone please"
I am so relived he isn't ending it with me but I didn't like the idea of talking to some stranger. I knew he was right though I needed to get my act together for Mars, Venus, the baby and for me.
So I started swimming, good for the baby and good for me and also they have a shallow kiddie pool that Venus likes paddling in. We spend most days at the pool now especially as summer is here, we have picnics and can have a lovely time together as a family.
Then for my me time I go to the gym and take classes like aerobics, yoga and dance. I have even gone on date nights with Mars, started helping out at the community gardens and have gone all organic to give my self a healthy life.
Even though I felt a thousand times better Mars still thought it would be good for me to talk to someone, so I booked an appointment to see someone. She was very good and extremely nice, she said what I had done so far was good and she's glad I took those steps.
After a few more secessions she said that I no longer needed to see her. I will always miss Pi but I know that he would want me to be happy and healthy. I felt so good and alive, I couldn't wait to tell Mars.
"Mars I'm so, so sorry for being not the Cass you know for those months"
"It's ok, you went through a lot"
"And I put you two through a lot and I want to thank you for being there"
I took Venus off him and held her close.
"Venus your daddy loves you very much and he would of thought you were a star and I will always protect you and so will Mars"
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