So I gave birth to Navy, she was healthy even though she was a bit early. We got to go home the next day, everyone wanted to see her. They all wanted to see Bluebell too, only to have a go at him though. Navy has gained the nickname 'ghost', with her grey/blue skin and mum's white hair, she dose have ghost like qualities. She is also very quiet.
"Bluebell you coming?"
He has been home for two months now, which is a record. I'm constantly worrying that he will leave again, so far it hasn't happened but I'm sure it will.
"Let me finish this report they need it by Monday, where are we going?"
"Neptune's graduation, I've only told you everyday since last week!"
I got very angry and began yelling at him, he stood up and tried to defend himself.
"Wow calm down! I forgot I was under a lot of pressure, I have to work hard for this family"
"I work at the daycare! I bring in money! We are living comfortably, we don't need extra income!"
He grumbled something under his breath, I scowled.
"What was that?"
"I said thank goodness I signed that contract to be a TV reporter up North for five years!"
I exploded. How could he? Without even telling me, he just decided he was going to leave for five years and expect me to be fine with it? He wanted this family, he wanted to have children so young before getting ahead with his career. Now I have to be more or less a single parent for five years.
"What about my dreams!"
I spat at him, my voice was acid, he looked at me confused and then said,
"What about them? You have the kids now"
I watched him leave, he went in the big company's limousine. He slept on the sofa the whole week leading up to his departure, I have never been so furious at anyone. Part of me feels bad though, as if I caused all this and it's my fault. Will the children be ok without a dad? In five years time Teal will be seven and Navy will be six, that's a long time to go without someone important.
"Teal, do we have a dad?"
"Sure we do Navy"
"Where is he then?"
"I don't know, he is somewhere though"
"Do you remember him? I don't but I'm too young"
"No I don't remember him either he left ages ago"
I listened to my children's conversation, tears pricked in my eyes. I turned away from them, I was going to have to tell them. These last five years have me both a nightmare and the best dream, Jupiter moved in to help for a while before leaving to get married. Mum lived with us for a while too, even Neptune stayed round.
I sat down in between them and began to explain the best I could, I told them everything from when I was a teenager, to our marriage and finally to the point where he left.
"So you see you do have a dad he...just decided to further his career then be with us"
"What dose he look like?"
"Well...a lot like Teal...he well, hold on"
I took the TV remote and changed channel.
"See that's your father, Bluebell"
Bluebell flicked on screen, he was talking about too much rubbish is going to landfill and we are still not recycling enough. I didn't want to watch it but I knew it was important to the kids.
The door bell rang and Navy ran to get it, I heard muffle talking.
"Mum it's for you?"
"Who is it?"
"I don't know"
Confused I got up and went to the door.
I saw Bluebell standing there and my knees buckled.
"He looks a lot like the guy form the TV doesn't he mum, but he could be him though could he 'cus dad doesn't want us?"
I saw Bluebell's face dropped and I felt automatically bad, when ever things was bad I would always blame it on him for leaving us. The kids must of heard me.
"No honey, that is your dad. Go...go get Teal"
I put my hand on his shoulder to make sure I wasn't seeing things, sure enough my hand touched something real. Tears formed in my eyes as well as a new found anger.
"Your back then"
"I told you I would be, there making a local TV documentary and asked me to do it. After that my contract is over and I go back to the local paper"
I looked at him bewildered, he was staying?"
"Saturn, I've had along time to think about what I did. You were right about most things"
He pressed his lips on mine, I was still dazed and so I just put my arms around him. I didn't kiss back I just let my mind try and make sense of it. From behind me I heard giggles from Teal and Navy and whispers. My mind was a mess, I didn't know what I was going to do. Take him back or forgive and forget?
I looked at the mirror, I was still talking to it. I've been up here for an hour, everyone else is at Venus' for a birthday party. I'm here trying to figure things out.
"What would you have done? Maybe I was weak to let him back, I should of been strong and told him things have to change. Instead I let him kiss me without thinking if that is what I want"
I looked down at my stomach and sighed heavily.
"Now I'm pregnant"
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